YWednesday, September 07, 2005
u will just sometimes come to a point of realisation
that things dun always turn out the way you want them to.
that no matter how strong you feel for something or someone.
it just won't be the way u want it..
but when u come to think of it
it's about how u actually manage it.
manage wat u cant have and how u learn to accept..wat's best for you.
for my case..accept what's best for my heart.
learning to accept the obvious is better
than not knowing what to learn from in the first place.
i don't regret tellling him..i shouldn't have.
what i did was meant for me..not for him.
it was suppose to make me feel better..-which it did now.
i duno what i was thinking last night..why i brokedown to such emptiness
i should be happy that i at least got the chance
to tell him that i still love him
and i won't try to let go of it cuz i cant tell my heart to
but i will move on with it..lookin forward..and smiling as i look back.
cuz the truth is..he's the only one i've loved in such a way..
in a way that it's impossible to ever relive again.
as i said before we were together..it'l just be a dream..
and dreams don't last.
i am now..in reality looking at the facts.
facts that i cant amend or edit to suit wat i want.
he's gone.
face it.
and to come to think of it..
although i won't be able to be with him again to exprience such love..
i noe im going to have sme1 better
someone who perhaps loves me..and in time..
maybe i'll love him the way i've never loved before..
and then..
i wont want it to b a dream..
i want it to be a point of realisation.that he's the one i've been looking for.
and until that moment come..i won't let go for what i feel for ammar.
i'll embrace this feeling and be happy that at least..
i've had a perfect rltnship..a relationship that everyone envied.
a relationship wer two people meet and noe wat they want
which is support..company...happiness..love.....
with all this, even hurt don't mean a thing..
a relationship wer u can just talk about everything..
sense to senseless..
happiness to sadness..
a perfect relationship..one that i noe i will share
with the people i know..even my children perhaps.
i love him cuz he was the angel from my nightmare..
and i noe i wont stop doing so.
but i will open my heart..and wait for that special sme1 who loves me..
this way..and then..
i will see how much i mean to him..
and love him just the same
in time...
im waiting for you.
im not gona give up on love..nor you..
[finally huh?? haha..i finally realise i guess..]-well im smiling now..hehe
credits to peiyi and cikgu for listening..and advising..
_callous_ was here with you at
